Wednesday, 20 November 2019

23 Going on 24

Well, I've not done this in a while. Sat in front of a computer screen with a word document open and blank. Blank with opportunities and possibilities. I can fill it with whatever I want, take it in any direction I choose, but despite all of this exciting freedom, I cannot help but be feel apprehension about what such freedom means.

I shall end my epic simile there, or I will end up dragging it out for the entirety of this post, and as much joy as that would bring me, you my dear reader, probably wouldn't agree. What I'm trying to get across is the way I'm currently feeling, because for the first time in my life, I am officially finished with education. I have completed my degree, awaiting my graduation, and I am on the precipice of starting my own life in the real world.
I am looking for the elusive 'dream job', to start my career off with, whilst trying to work out what exactly this dream job is for me. Is it being a copywriter, digital marketer, or maybe something else entirely. Honestly, I don't know, like a lot of things regarding my future at the moment, but I suppose that is all part of the fun, finding out where you fit into the world or carving out your own space.

But there is a darker side to all of this excitement and optimism that I'm feeling right now, and that is self comparison. I'm 23 going on 24 and I feel myself constantly looking to my peers for validation of sorts. As though to confirm that I'm doing all right. Checking to see if I am further along than them or whether I need to catch up. Comparing myself to them and where they are in their lives. This will never end well, when everyone is doing such different things, accomplishing what is important to them or simply trying to figure out what that is. Some of my friends are having babies or getting married, others are travelling the world solo, some have managed to find their dream job whereas others are still working their part time job.

But what I've eventually realised is that comparison is futile and I'm exactly where I need to be on my path. It sounds cliche I know, but it is true, I really can't spend my time comparing myself to everyone around me when everyone is on their own journey with a completely different destination.

I feel as though this post has been a bit rambly, but incredibly important for me, forcing me to be introspective in a positive way and maybe this will even encourage you to do the same.
I'm learning that the only person I can compare myself to is indeed myself and looking back at everything that I have done and achieved in the past 12 months, I cannot help but feel proud of myself.

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